do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need water and some morals
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
