What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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