just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
