You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I think I just sharted jello shots
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
