i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm both gender and math confused
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
