Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
