ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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