If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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