I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
