Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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