I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
They have beer where we have blood.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
