She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
