the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
