its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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