Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
