Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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