I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
