yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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