The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
dude. I can hear the air.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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