Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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