Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
