Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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