Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
