Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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