she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
