I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
