I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
