Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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