her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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