we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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