I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
