I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i barfeds in our rink
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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