you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
