I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
