Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
