when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
