I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize