A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
