It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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