We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
