I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
