Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
