no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
