Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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