just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
