all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
