apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
