Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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