How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize