Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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