You're my little dorito
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize