No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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