You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
