Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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