Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
