drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
