i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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