Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
