you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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